When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
