what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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