You can't motorboat a personality
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
