32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
