Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
