Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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