How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize