remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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