OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
