how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
