It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
