If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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