Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize