Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
