I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
