your parents love me but you hate me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
