Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
