so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
