Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
