You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
