I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
