Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
