a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
