did you get engaged???
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
