just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
