Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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