i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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