Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
