I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
