are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize