white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Say something about gay babies.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
