Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
