redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
