I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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