ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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