its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
