I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
