Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
