she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize