dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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