Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
