I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sobbing to NWA
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
