I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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