All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
