I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He better not be in your backpack
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
