Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
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