chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
