Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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