How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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