I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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