Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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