My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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