a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
