Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
