He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize