Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
