It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
