Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
