Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
