This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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